Metronome
tylerknott:
I think that maybe
my heart uses
your heartbeat
as a metronome
to stay on
track.
Yours
balances mine,
slows it,
teaches it to beat
strong and
steady and
with purpose
and rhythm.
When faced with
the unfortunate
but often
unavoidable situation
where it cannot hear
yours,
it forgets, simply forgets
all it was taught.
Like a piano student
whose teacher skipped
the recital.
It aches for your sound
to match.
It stings for the
audience of your
lungs
to hear it beat.
Hear it sing.
Hear it play.
-Tyler Knott Gregson-
Abbey and I had no desire to be friends.
We met one night in mid-December when she came to my church’s small group at Panera. There was this boy that I liked at the time, Chris, who had basically crushed me, and I had this weird feeling that they were into each other. I couldn’t help but think negative thoughts toward her. It was like a parasite feeding off my jealousy. She had not yet wronged me, but I couldn’t see past the blinding disdain I had for a girl I hardly knew.
My friends tried to convince me that she was a great person and that I would get along with her. I told them of my suspicions, but they pressed me until one day, Abbey and I ended up hanging out. I was very honest with her about how I felt and that it was weird for me to be there with her. It was an interesting night, to say the least.
A long and very painful story short, we both were hurting each other and assuming things about each other and we were just overall very guarded with each other. We thought we would be fine barely speaking and tip-toeing around the other, but something just didn’t feel right.
Almost a year later, after many a painful month, I noticed God laying her on my heart, and vice versa. We made the decision to get some coffee at Starbucks and just talk. It was in that thirty minute conversation that we realized it was God who was bringing us together. We understood that we had to let our walls down. We had to be completely vulnerable with each other, no matter how much it may hurt. God wants us to be friends; He is going to do amazing things in us, and He already has.
Since then, we have been spending a lot of time together. We check in on each other and pray for each other and encourage each other. We have put away the fear of being judged and just opened up our hearts to each other. We share what God is showing us and how it’s impacting us. We talk about our struggles and things we’re wrestling with. It’s an amazing thing, having a sister like that.
Abbey and I had no desire to be friends. But even God can take that and transform stubborn hearts to bring glory to His good and perfect Name.
dearyahweh:
Relieve me of this insecurity.
